The decision to become a surrogate is not an easy one, and one must carefully think about it. Surrogacy is a demanding process that requires you to attend to some requirements, take medications, and, most importantly, carry a pregnancy. Surrogacy is a life-changing decision that is bound to affect people around you. It is important to consider how it will affect the people around you, especially your partner. It is important to talk with your significant other and share what both of you think is important and how it will affect your relationship. In this article, we will discuss what your partner should know if you are considering surrogacy. This will help you learn how surrogacy can affect your partner and your relationship and help you maintain a healthy relationship.
For some women, the decision to become a surrogate is not such a hard one. It allows these women to gift another family with something priceless, and they do it, one baby, at a time. Carrying a baby for another family brings its own ramifications not only to you but also to your partner. To have a comfortable and successful surrogacy, it is vital that you ensure that those around and especially your significant other are on board. It is important to consider how the surrogacy will affect your partner in the long run. Every surrogacy experience is unique, and every couple shares its own experiences, but some challenges are shared. Some of the effects that your partner may experience and which must be discussed include:
Restrictions on intimacy
To ensure the success of the pregnancy, you will need to work closely with a fertility specialist. You may also need to take fertility medications and abstain from intimacy for some time. This means that the relationship may take a hit as some people feel very uncomfortable knowing their partners are carrying a baby from another couple. This period where intimacy is restricted can have different ramifications, which of all the couples must sit down and discuss and find ways to deal with them.
Conversations surrounding the pregnancy
Pregnancy attracts conversations from friends, family members, acquaintances, and even strangers. Surrogacy elicits even more discussions, and you must prepare well in advance. Your partner may find himself continuously been questioned about the pregnancy and whether he is excited to be a parent. Some people will not understand why you chose to become a surrogate. You are also likely to meet hostile comments from people about surrogacy. You need to talk to your partner about this and be ready to answer questions that may follow.
Carrying a pregnancy comes with its own demands that force one to adjust their lives to accommodate the new changes. This is the same when you decide to become a surrogate. You may not be able to attend your favorite family activities and go about your life as you used to. Things like taking your kids to the amusement park, going for vacations, or attending concerts may have had to be postponed. It is crucial to prepare your partner for these times, and together you can find ways of enjoying time together. Your partner may feel that the pregnancy takes too much from the relationship and may not like your reasons as to why you chose to become a surrogate.
Shifts in responsibilities
During pregnancy, one is not able to continue with their everyday responsibilities. You may not be able to do the typical day to day responsibilities in the house or feel drained. Your partner may need to help you out every now and then. By having this conversation with your partner, you make them feel like they are part of this process, and they are comfortable with why you have become a surrogate.
Reassure your partner to deal with insecurities
One of the difficulties a partner has to deal with is knowing that their significant other is carrying another man’s baby. The situation comes with its own insecurities. To deal with this situation, you must talk to your partner about surrogacy reassuring him that there is no genetic tie between you and the child. Your partner must know that the arrangement is only for gestational surrogacy, and you have no relationship with the sperm donor. Tell your partner that you are only interested in gifting a couple with the joy of having a child plus, of course, the financial benefits that come with it.
Effect on your kids
If you are becoming a surrogate and you have kids, it’s important to discuss it with them in order to avoid confusion. Discussing becoming a surrogate with your children is just as important as it is with your partner, in order to ensure you get the support and care you need from all parties within your family unit.
Time and resources
It is essential to have a conversation and explain to your partner why you are doing this for another couple who are most likely strangers. Various support groups help couples deal with this situation, and it is important to discuss the demands as well as the compensation to help your partner better understand how worthwhile the investment of time can be for both of you.
For a successful surrogacy, the support of your partner is critical. A partner plays a very instrumental part in providing attention to his wife and the baby. Some programs don’t allow prospective surrogate mothers whose partners are not supportive because this may affect the process’s success. It is important to have this conversation with your partner before you move on with the plan to become a surrogate so that you can dispel any fears and solve any emotions or questions that your partner may have. Some programs have structures where couples can talk to other surrogates who have already gone through the process and share their experiences. Communication is vital during this period, as it makes your partner feel involved. Always remind your partner that the situation is temporary and that your everyday lives will resume as soon as you give birth.