The pain and suffering caused by infertility is not obvious like a broken arm or car accident; instead, it is an “invisible” trauma that impacts men and women of all ages. More than seven million people of childbearing age experience infertility in the United States alone! Involuntary childlessness can leave people feeling hopeless, depressed, and frustrated. If one of your close family members or friends is coping with infertility, you may want to support them but wonder what words could possibly provide comfort. This guide will help you support your loved one in the best ways possible.
You Don’t Need to Have All the Answers
It is human nature to want to solve the problems that our loved ones face. However, infertility is a problem that frequently lacks a simple resolution. Rather than trying to solve your loved one’s infertility problem, just her know you are there anytime she needs somebody to talk to. The emotional and physical demands of infertility are extremely taxing, and providing a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on is one of the best ways you can help! You can also ask your loved one directly, “How can I help?” Perhaps she will ask you to accompany her to IVF appointments, sort through literature on surrogacy, or other stressful tasks.
It’s Okay to Keep it Simple
Sometimes the simplest sentences are the most comforting. “I’m here for you.” “If you want to talk, I’m here.” “I can see how hard this is for you.” Those statements let your loved one know that you truly care, you’re listening, and she’s not alone. On the other hand, steer clear of overly simplified solutions like “Just relax!” and “Stop stressing, it’ll happen one day.” Those suggestions can add to the pressure your loved one already feels.
Be Aware of the Effect of Other Situations
Just like you wouldn’t brag about your great new boyfriend to a best friend who just experienced a devastating breakup, you also don’t want to flaunt your pregnancy to a loved one who is struggling with infertility. Try to be aware of the situations that might cause your loved one pain, such as pregnancy announcements, baby showers, and discussions of common pregnancy or parenting joys and challenges. If you plan to announce your own pregnancy, consider letting your loved one know privately before a large social media reveal. Also maintain empathy and let your loved one know that you understand if attending your baby shower will be too painful.
Don’t Be Pushy About Other Options
Every person facing infertility has a range of options: to continue trying to get pregnant naturally, to accept a life without children, or to find an alternative such as IVF, adoption, or surrogacy. Your loved one who is experiencing infertility might feel ready to explore alternative options quickly, or she might need months or years before she is ready to accept the fact that she will not have children in the way she imagined. Be supportive of her process and refrain from pushing certain options or ideas. She will be ready in her own time.
Open Arms Surrogacy and Egg Donation in Bradenton, Florida has been helping men and women overcome infertility for many years. We provide complete care and guidance through every step toward becoming a parent. From finding your egg donor or surrogate mother to working with fertility clinics and specialists, Open Arms is here for you. Call (941) 741-4994 today to learn more and schedule a free consultation!