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If
someone in your life has confided to you about his or her struggle with
infertility, you must be really good friend.
Like
all good friends, you can support this person (or couple) with this difficult
situation mostly by listening. You’re providing a safe place to talk about
this, presumably because you withhold judgment with comments like:
·        
“Why
won’t you adopt?”
·        
“Kids
are a pain in the neck.”
·        
“Maybe
you waited too long.”
·        
“Oh,
just relax, and before you know it, you (or she) will be pregnant.”
As
RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association, says: “Knowing what not to say
is half the battle to providing support” to people who are dealing with
infertility.

If
you’ve only recently learned of a close friend’s struggle, be prepared to listen.
While infertility isn’t a disease, it is an emotionally painful condition.
Respect People Dealing with Infertility
You
don’t disrespect someone who’s dealing with a painful loss—a death, a job—do
you? Of course not.
Infertility
is a loss. For many people, it means adjusting to a new reality, just like
people who get laid off from work, or are widowed or orphaned “too soon”
(whatever that means).
Respect
this pain. They may mourn more than you might realize or expect. Do not gossip
or otherwise share conversations they have with you. Just let them know you
care about them.
Understand
that people dealing with infertility probably know a lot about their condition.
If they have been through IVF and other fertility treatments, they’ve spent hours,
if not days, scouring the web for resources and reassurance.
If
they are just starting to wonder about their fertility—they’ve been trying to
get pregnant for more than a year—be open to helping them research fertility doctors.
Encourage them to get a wellness check-up. Don’t turn off any conversations:
just listen.
More
couples than ever are looking into surrogacy. If your friend(s) confide this in
you, don’t be alarmed. Do your research. You’ll learn that surrogacy is a
service provided by emotionally strong women who often feel called to serve
couples who want a genetic relationship as well as emotional one with their
future child.

Feel
free to contact us for more information, or visit RESOLVE
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