All you’ve wanted for as long as you can remember is a baby.
You’re trying, but you’re struggling, and now you’re exploring your options.
Whether you’ve begun seeing a fertility specialist or have started exploring
surrogacy, we definitely understand how extra
stressful the holiday season is for you. We want to take this time to
remind you to treat yourself kindly, not only during the hustle and bustle of
the holidays but throughout the entire year as well.

Allow Yourself Your
Emotions

Give yourself time and space, as often as you need, to feel
any and all of the emotions you’re experiencing. Infertility isn’t small and it’s very important to you. Take some time for yourself whenever you
feel you need to. And please make sure you’re talking to your spouse about the
way you feel. You’re in this together.

Control the
Situations You’re In

While you can’t control the way others feel about your
situation, you can control the situations you find yourself in throughout the holiday
season. Surround yourself with understanding family members and friends and
avoid situations in which the people involved will want to focus on your
health, offer tons of unsolicited advice, or simply act insensitively (we all
have that one family member, right?).

Pick and choose the invitations you accept and don’t be
afraid to say NO. If you know you’ll end up at an adult party with good
friends, go and enjoy the comfortable atmosphere. The holidays do tend to be
family-oriented, though, so choose carefully if you have several invitations to
mixed events. You can’t realistically avoid every single situation, but you can
make healthy choices that allow you to expose yourselves to the ones you love
in small doses while giving yourself the space to cope with your struggles.

Physical and
Emotional Care

You may be undergoing fertility treatments or you may be
preparing for surrogacy. No matter what your situation, make sure you are
paying special attention to your physical and emotional needs. We all eat too
much, drink too much, forget to sleep enough, and run around feeling stressed
throughout the holiday season. The better you care for yourself physically, the
better you will be able to deal with the stresses associated with infertility and the holidays.

Take a Vacation

No one ever said you have to save your vacation days for the
summer. Pool your vacation days together, ditch the gift-buying tradition, and
do something fun. You don’t have to take a fancy vacation. Even a simple
weekend at a bed-and-breakfast is enough to relax, recharge, and prepare
yourselves to face the post-holiday world.

Everyone here at Open Arms understands the myriad
of emotions you’re feeling. Our goal is to help you through this sensitive and
difficult time of your life with as much dignity and compassion as possible.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us if you’re struggling and need help.
We’re happy to help you find the resources you need to cope.