and agencies alike, filter through various candidates by looking for some critical traits they believe a surrogate mother should possess. In this post we take a look at what some of those critical traits individuals should posses to become a surrogate.1. Integrity
Intended parents want to be able to trust their individuals who want to become a surrogate in all aspects of the process. Therefore, a potential surrogate needs to be honest with intended parents that chooses to work with them.
2. Not Motivated By Money
Women who want to become a surrogate should be compensated for the sacrifice they make to help other individuals. This is a well known fact. But, most experts proclaim that an ideal surrogate candidate should not be motivated by money alone. When it’s said and done, there are two types of surrogates. Those who do it for compensation and those that have a strong desire to do something good for another person. Working with someone who is primarily driven by money can cause issues in several ways. For instance, said individual may threaten to keep the child after birth to increase compensation or try to manipulate the pregnancy and custodial issues for the sole purposes of increased compensation. Therefore, if your primary motivating factor to become a surrogate is money, this may not be ideal for you.
3. Positive And Supportive Personal Environment
In order for intended parents to successfully manage the emotional and psychological aspect of surrogate gestations, the surrogate themselves must have some degree of support from their personal environment outside the scope of the surrogate agency. Meaning, in many cases emotional support will be provided to the surrogate through the agency, but it is equally important that they have this type of support from their own personal environment from friends and family members. For instance, if said individual is married, it is critical that their spouse is aware of their intentions and is able to accept the limitations and results of the pregnancy as well as to not have a desire to keep the child. It is also equally important that their family members are able to accept their desires to become a surrogate. As such, many agencies strive to only work with individuals who have a strong positive support system.
4. Health And Social History
A surrogate’s suitability is also based on their social and health history. Besides the fact that said surrogate should be in good physical health, they shouldn’t have a mental or physical condition that could impair her ability to successfully deliver a baby. Therefore, aspects of a surrogate lives such as their overall health history, sexual behavior, history of STDs, history of anxiety and depression, tobacco and alcohol usage are among many critical areas of inquiry. It would be much more desirable to choose a surrogate who has no issues in any of the aforementioned areas.
5. Successfully Delivered A Child Previously
One of the most important traits that agencies and intended parents look for, are surrogates who have successfully delivered a child before. This serves as an indicator that future pregnancies will run smoothly. Without this indication intended parents and agencies will not be able to determine if a potential surrogate has infertility issues of their own. In addition to this, agencies may question if a candidate can handle the emotional and physical aspects of delivering a child. As such, by choosing a surrogate who has never experienced pregnancy, intended parents would be rolling the dice, so to speak when it comes to expecting said individual to reliably commit to deliver the child and relinquish its custody.
6. High Self Esteem
A good surrogate candidate is one who knows their worth and has a high self esteem. In fact, experts proclaim that self esteem is a critical trait of being a good surrogate. The reason being is that much of the attention throughout the process will be about the baby as opposed to the mother, where in normally pregnancies the attention is given to the mother and child equally. Individuals with low self esteems may get jealous of the attention that the child receives and it may make them feel left out of the situation. Therefore, many agencies will shy away from working with individuals who want to become a surrogate if they are shy themselves.
If you’re somewhat of a social butterfly, you have the potential to be an excellent surrogate. The process in itself can be nerve racking for the surrogate, agency and intended parents alike. The reason being is that, as a surrogate you possess all the information about the intended parent’s child, in regards to its development as well as your mental state while you undergo this process. The key thing that can help to make the process easier is to develop a certain degree of trust through open and honest conversations. The trust which develops as a result of being able to communicate clearly is regarded as one of the more important aspects of the process.